Back in 2008, a pregnant blogger named Jenna Karvunidis cut into a cake at a party to reveal pink frosting inside. She shared this moment on her blog, and without meaning to, she kicked off what would become a massive trend: gender reveal parties. Now, more than a decade later, Karvunidis is begging parents to stop the trend she started. Why? Because these parties have not only led to dangerous accidents and wildfires but also reinforce limiting ideas about gender that she no longer supports.
The woman who started it all now regrets her creation
Jenna Karvunidis never expected her simple cake-cutting moment to spark a worldwide phenomenon. What began as a fun way to share news with family has morphed into something she can’t recognize. In recent years, Karvunidis has spoken out repeatedly against the trend she accidentally created, expressing deep regret as gender reveals have grown increasingly elaborate, dangerous, and sometimes deadly. She’s watched in horror as these celebrations have caused massive wildfires, explosions, plane crashes, and even deaths – all in the name of announcing whether a baby will have a penis or vagina.
In interviews, Karvunidis doesn’t mince words about her feelings. “Stop it. Stop having these stupid parties. For the love of God, stop burning things down to tell everyone about your kid’s penis,” she wrote in one passionate social media post after learning a gender reveal party had sparked a massive California wildfire. Her frustration stems not just from the physical danger these parties pose, but from a growing awareness that the entire concept might be harmful on a deeper level. As she puts it simply, “No one cares but you” about the sex of your baby.
When gender reveals turn deadly
What started with pink or blue cake has evolved into stunts involving explosives, smoke bombs, and other dangerous devices. In 2020, a gender reveal party sparked the El Dorado Fire in California, burning more than 10,000 acres of land. This wasn’t even the first wildfire caused by these celebrations – in 2017, a gender reveal in Arizona resulted in the Sawmill Fire that scorched over 45,000 acres of state land. The damage from that party alone cost taxpayers millions in firefighting and damages. Other gender reveal disasters have included a small plane crash, a 10-acre brush fire in Florida, and various explosions that have injured or killed participants.
The growing competition to create the most spectacular gender reveal moment has driven parents to take bigger risks. What was once a simple cake-cutting or balloon-popping has transformed into stunts involving fireworks, explosives, or dangerous animals. The need to create a social media-worthy moment has pushed some parents to extremes that have ended in tragedy. Fire departments across the country have had to respond to emergencies caused by these parties going wrong, and they’ve begun speaking out against the more dangerous reveal methods. Even Karvunidis, who used a simple cake for her reveal, is shocked by how far things have gone.
Why gender stereotypes can be harmful to kids
Beyond the physical dangers, Karvunidis has come to believe that gender reveal parties promote harmful stereotypes that can limit children. The parties often feature decorations reinforcing outdated gender norms: blue trucks and sports equipment for boys, pink dresses and tiaras for girls. These celebrations make assumptions about who a child will be based solely on their biological sex – assumptions that might not turn out to be true. Kids don’t always fit neatly into these boxes, and being pushed toward certain toys, clothes, or activities based on gender can prevent them from discovering their true interests and talents.
Karvunidis has personal experience with this issue. The very daughter who was the subject of the original gender reveal party – the one where pink cake frosting announced “it’s a girl” – now prefers to wear suits and has explored her own gender identity. This experience has made Karvunidis rethink everything about gender reveals. “Who cares what gender the baby is?” she now asks. She believes these parties “overemphasize one aspect of a person” when children should be free to define themselves. Gender reveal parties start boxing children into stereotypes before they’re even born, creating expectations that might not match who they truly are.
The pressure to create social media-worthy moments
Social media has played a huge role in the rise of over-the-top gender reveals. Parents feel pressure to create picture-perfect, shareable moments that will get likes and comments online. What once might have been a private family moment has become a performance for hundreds or thousands of viewers. This pressure to go viral or outdo other parents’ reveals has pushed people toward increasingly elaborate and risky stunts. Gender reveals have become less about celebrating a new life and more about creating content – with sometimes devastating consequences.
The competition aspect has turned what should be a joyful time into a source of stress for some expectant parents. They feel they need to plan something spectacular and unique, spending substantial money and time planning their reveal. Party supply companies have jumped on the trend, creating specific gender reveal products like smoke bombs, confetti cannons, and specialty balloons. What started as a simple cake has grown into a multi-million dollar industry built around a single moment of surprise. Parents might feel pressured to participate in this trend even if they’re uncomfortable with it, just to meet social expectations.
How to celebrate a baby without focusing on gender
Karvunidis and others aren’t suggesting that parents shouldn’t celebrate their pregnancies and babies – just that there are better ways to do it than focusing on gender. Baby showers have existed for generations without the gender reveal component, focusing instead on supporting the parents and celebrating the arrival of a new life. Many parents are now opting for gender-neutral baby celebrations that focus on the joy of a new family member without emphasizing whether the baby is a boy or girl. These parties can still include fun elements like games and cake without making gender the main attraction.
Some parents are getting creative with alternative celebrations. “Baby sprinkles” focus on showering the parents with love rather than gifts. “Name reveal parties” celebrate the chosen name for the baby rather than their gender. “Meet the baby” parties after birth let friends and family meet the newborn in person. These alternatives put the focus on welcoming a unique new person into the world rather than making predictions about who they’ll be based on their biological sex. They allow for celebration without the potentially harmful emphasis on gender stereotypes – and without the danger of explosives or wildfires.
Let kids define their own identities
At the heart of Karvunidis’ changed perspective is a simple but powerful idea: children should be allowed to define their own identities rather than having them defined from birth. Her experience with her own daughter taught her that kids often surprise us, developing interests and expressing themselves in ways parents never expected. When we make a big deal about gender before birth, we risk creating boxes that might not fit who our children actually are. Instead of focusing on pink or blue, Karvunidis now advocates for letting kids show us who they are on their own terms.
“Let kids be who they are,” Karvunidis has said, encouraging parents to approach gender in a more open-minded way. Rather than making assumptions based on biological sex, she suggests allowing children the freedom to explore their interests and express themselves authentically. This doesn’t mean parents can’t buy dolls for girls or trucks for boys – it just means being open to the possibility that your child might prefer something different than what you expected. It means creating space for kids to develop their own identities without the pressure of gender expectations that were celebrated even before they were born.
The woman who started the gender reveal trend is now its most prominent critic – and that’s worth paying attention to. Jenna Karvunidis has had a front-row seat to how her simple cake-cutting moment transformed into a sometimes destructive cultural phenomenon, and she’s asking us all to reconsider. Whether you choose to have a gender reveal or not, her story reminds us to think carefully about the traditions we participate in and the expectations we create for our children.
